Take a minute and really look at the picture I chose for this blog post!
It was chosen very intentionally.
Ashlyn found this cashmere coat at a local thrift store and each time she puts it on, she feels like she owns the world!
I'm here to tell you, confidence doesn't come from clothes you wear, a number on a scale or your bank account balance.
Self Confidence has only one source-YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT YOURSELF!
You can choose to feel just as confident in anything you wear.
Self Confidence is a skill anyone can learn
First of all, let me explain the difference between CONFIDENCE and SELF CONFIDENCE. Confidence is based on what you've already done. For example, I have confidence in my ability to read. I learned it years ago and have used this skill almost every day since. We would never tell a struggling kindergartener to give up on reading telling them, "It's clearly not your thing!" Quite the opposite! We know they will master this skill with practice and perserverence and we encourage them to keep at it. Same thing with a toddler learning to walk. We would never encourage them to quit after their first fall!!
Self Confidence is the emotion of growth. It is who you are and what you are capable of accomplishing. Self Confidence DOES NOT come from a number on a scale or from your bank account balance. It is a feeling that is created based on our thoughts about ourselves.
"There's nothing I cannot learn," is one of my favorite thoughts about myself! This is not a statement of arrogance or perfection, but rather a reminder to me, I may not know everything now, but if there's something I really want to learn, I ABSOLUTELY CAN! It's a thought that creates a feeling of self confidence and motivates me to stick with it until I have mastered my new skill!
TOOLS TO GAIN MORE SELF CONFIDENCE:
- Decide ahead of time you are going to get good at feeling self confident
- Pay attention to situations in which you feel self confident vs those you do not! What thoughts are you thinking about yourself in those contrasting situations? Learn about yourself based on the data you collect about your thoughts! It feels so much better to learn from yourself rather than being frustrated by unwanted feelings in your life
- Speak to yourself the way you would speak to a friend! So often, we are our own worst critic and speak to ourselves in terms of thoughts in ways we would never speak out loud to others.
- BE KIND TO YOURSELF!! Notice your strengths and learn from your weaknesses, but do not let them define you!
- HAVE YOUR OWN BACK! Be your own best cheerleader instead of your own worst critic
My biggest piece of advice to you: YOU ARE THE SAME PERSON IN YOUR MOST SELF CONFIDENT SITUATION AS YOU ARE IN YOUR LEAST SELF CONFIDENT SITUATION. Notice your thoughts and the feelings those thougths create. Notice when you are feeling negative emotion towards yourself and intentionally redirect your brain to a thought that drove feelings of self confidence.
This work may seem laborous at first, but the more you practice this skill, the easier it will become. Before you know it, you will have a well trained brain cheering you on to your best and most self confident self.
I'd love to hear about your progress!!! Never be shy to message me!
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